Another one of my goals this year is to choose not to fear. I spend so much time fearing so many things in life that are either insignificant or unimportant that I feel I am wasting my life.
My God tells me this in His word: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10-11)." Think about the power behind those words. It is God's promise to us that He will personally take care of us. He isn't passing it off to someone else. He is watching over us and strengthening us! With these promising words why should I spend so much time wrapped up in the sin of fear and worry.
Some of the things that I fear are legitimate while others are silly.
I fear that Adeline will grow up to love her Daddy more than me.
I fear that I will fail as a mother and we will have an awful, tense, relationship.
I fear that my choice to work instead of stay home will hurt my future with my children.
I fear that I am not being the kind of wife that I can or should be to Landen.
I fear that when the new baby comes I will not be able to love it the same way; or worse, what if I have a favorite between the two?
I fear that I won't be able to give Adeline as much attention, thus fostering the favoritism between Landen and her and the tension between the two of us.
I fear that Landen and I will lose momentum in our marriage due to having children so close.
I fear that my house is never going to be finished the way I would like it to be.
I fear something will happen to my parents.
I fear something will happen to me or to Landen.
I fear bad news.
I fear having a baby so soon after Adeline and what it will do to my body.
I fear gaining weight.
I fear change in general.
I fear that my walk with God will fall farther and farther from where I want it to be.
I fear that we will fail our youth and that we won't make a difference.
I fear that I won't follow through.
I fear I won't take chances.
Even as I type that list I am reminded that none of these things are in my control, and I wouldn't want them to be, because God holds all things in His hands, and He makes all things good. He is the person I want calling the shots. I am also aware of the fact that fearing these things does me absolutely no good! I can't change what will happen and voicing my fears does not mean that I am predestining them to happen.
Each New Year I sit on the couch, and as the clock ticks down into the upcoming year, I am filled more with anxiety than with excitement. I sit and think "will this be the year that...?"
I am choosing to relinquish control of the fear in my life. I am choosing to trust God and trust myself that it will not have a hold on me any longer.
I am choosing peace.
What bad habits do you carry in to the New Year? What are you afraid of? Have you dealt with a history of fear or anxiety in your own life?