Thursday, July 12, 2012

At the risk of being controversial...

At the risk of being controversial, I am going to spend the next little bit sharing my heart, being disgustingly honest with you and with myself, and probably ticking some people off.
As a disclaimer, if you aren't into having a heart check or possibly being smacked in the face with what God has spoken to my heart about, then I would click onto another blog. 
Also, if, at the end of this blog post you feel the nasty getting ready to spout out of your mouth and into my comments section; please refrain. Thankssomuch.

There seems to be growing trend in America these days to fill the world with as much smut as we will allow.
And considering this country is about as far away from God as a bug from an OFF candle, we are allowing quite a bit of smut.
As a Christian, I try to stay away from as much of the stuff as I can. As a human, sometimes I fall prey to the latest fads or trends and find myself consumed in guilt at participating in something just for the sake of finding out what all the fuss was about.

I found myself in this place about a month ago when I was given the opportunity to read Fifty Shades of Grey. Now, if you know anything about this series of books you probably know that it has many labels, "Erotic Fiction" and "Mommy Porn" among the leading ones.  
Tthis is where the world comes into my God lovin' heart because in my heart I knew that it was wrong and that it didn't glorify God, but in my head I easily convinced myself that it wouldn't affect me and that it was just a good read.
So I began reading it.
I'll admit it. I can see where people could become entranced in the charm of Mr. Grey, and could even be seduced by the graphic detail of the passion the author writes about in such an erotic way. 
I won't sit here and lie and say there weren't times when I was counting down the minutes until Landen got home from work, as a direct result of this book.
And folks, I stopped at page 85.

What was happening to me?
It didn't take very long for me to realize two elements that this book had placed in my heart in a very short time.
1. This book was becoming a source of seduction that belongs only to my husband. 
I firmly believe that the job of a husband and a wife is to seduce each other, and when outside sources are being used we have entered into a sinful environment. This might be a movie on TV, conversations with friends about their sex lives with their spouse, an article in a magazine detailing the latest new 'positions' to try. When we start looking to outside sources to initiate what should come naturally between a husband and a wife we are dishonoring our spouse. 
That is what I was doing with this book. Dishonoring my husband.

2. Women are so hypocritical
Let's say, hypothetically of course, I walked into our bedroom tonight and there was a copy of Playboy magazine laying on the nightstand. What would happen? I can tell you one thing: I wouldn't lay down and ask Landen how his nightly reading had went, and I WOULD NOT be "in the mood" if he told me what he was reading had gotten him all hot and heavy. I WOULD BE LIVID!!! I would storm off, say awful things, questions his true love for me, accuse him of committing adultery in his mind, etc, etc, etc. Come on girls, you know the drill. 
It would not go over well at all.
So, please tell me, what is the difference?
Now granted, there aren't any smutty pictures to look at (although I did just read that a movie is in the works so that might change soon).
But are our hearts not in the same place while reading these books as our husbands hearts are while looking at porn and reading dirty magazines?
I tell you, they are...

...and what about Magic Mike.
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good night out with friends to see a funny movie just as much as the next person. But what is seeing Channing Tatum grinding up and down on a stripper pole doing to my heart?

If Landen came home and said that he and some friends were going to go see Magic Michelle, I would have a fit and repeat the exact same reaction as detailed above upon finding the Playboy. It would not go over well!

So if we have such high expectations for our husbands, why don't we have them for ourselves?
The bible says this: 

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Colossians 3:5

I think it's funny that we have forgotten that lusting after others who don't belong to us 
(and ladies, Christian Grey is fictional, and Matthew McConaughey is taken!)
is indeed a form of not only idolatry, but also adultery in our hearts.
Adultery folks, think about it.

Another question I have to ask: 
What is it about Fifty Shades of Grey that cause Men to like it?
I mean come on, we are reading about a man that most men could never compare to. Why in the world would men encourage their wives to read this book, or sit idly by and let us knowing that it is wrong. I'm talking about Christian men here too!!
Let's face it. The book is doing things for their sex lives like nothing else has.
We read, we get turned on, they get sex.
Makes perfect sense.
We need to step up ladies! Hate me if you will, but it is our JOB to please our men! They shouldn't be willing to let us place impurity in our hearts because we aren't filling their needs any other way. They are calling the next generation the product of "The Fifty Shades of Grey Baby Boom" for a reason!

Please, please, PLEASE, don't think that I am calling you a horrible, indecent, monster of a person if you have read the books or seen Magic Mike. I assure you I am not. I got to page 85 remember. I am just as much of this trend as anyone else.
What I am saying however is that we need to guard our hearts. 
Satan is lurking around every corner to place something in our hearts that will make us compare our spouses to unrighteous things, and place our own integrity in question.

My prayer for all of us ladies out there is that we will stop looking to the world to fill our needs and start looking to our husbands and that we will stop placing our husbands on a pedestal that we have no intention of being on ourselves. 
We owe ourselves more.

I love you all!
Much Prayers!


  1. I am completely on board with you! There was all the hype about 50 Shades and the more I read, the more I knew that it wasn't something I wanted to read. I will read some edgy stuff (I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series and loved it), but this seemed different to me. I felt it was beyond my comfort zone. I never had any interest in Magic Mike. The commercials weren't even appealing to me. I won't condemn anyone for reading or watching, but I knew that they weren't for me. I love your examples and they are so right on!

  2. You just wrote out my exact thoughts on this subject. I swear! I stopped reading midway through the first truly erotic scene... I hate that women have become so entranced by this story. But the thought of CHRISTIAN women enjoying it really saddens me. We know better. I knew better!
    Thanks for speaking out on this.

  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I too have similar feelings about what we allow to invade(and often seek out) our lives each. I did not get wrangled into 50 Shades, but I did watch Magic Mike. I will say the movie is much less provocative than advertised and although it is about a less than wholesome career, the underlying idea is how he grows to see the career as corrupt and how to escape it. I am in no way defending it because I highly doubt the millions that went to see it went for the story line. We we for what was advertised. The same story line could have been presented in a much less enticing way. Would ticket sales have decreased? Sadly yes, but would morality? Thanks for openly expressing a thought I have struggled with frequently. Many prayers for all of us to guard our hearts always :)

  4. It took courage to write that and courage to admit that you started reading the book. I won't be reading the book or watching the movie and I'm always happy to hear that other women feel the same way.

  5. I quit reading Wicked about 1/2 way thru because of I honestly found my thought process being redirected...I know it is a "big hit" but a similar effect could come from. Satan plants anything & everything he can to trip us any way he can. I quit watching Grey's Anatomy the day Emma asked me why those 2 girls were kissing. If homosexuality is wrong, then it's not ok in fiction either. Emma doesn't watch iCarly anymore because I felt guilty about her seeing Sam lie and manipulate then punishing her if she attempted the same thing. Emma is well aware it is wrong...but how can it be wrong when she sits with mommy and watches it on Nickelodeon.

    I agree with you one hundred percent!! One of my good friends was talking about everyone she works with talking about that magic mike. I had no clue what she was talking about so I Googled the trailer and rolled my eyes about 30 seconds into the 3 minute trailer. Emma and I went and saw Brave. Which I might add I have issues with Disney at times. We are not living or raising our daughters in an era where anything is it marriage or morals. Our hearts are convicted for a purpose, and thank you for sharing. I've never heard of the series of books you are talking about...I'm big on the "Reading in steps...level 2 & 3" ;) the Ramona & Beezus & How to Train Your Dragon series lol.

    Stay strong...we will be tested and may start to bend but we are daughters of a King and He will keep us from breaking. It takes courage to share a stumbling block....but thank you. We are to hold each other accountable but sadly even life gets in the way of that at times.



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