Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Blubber Butt Chronicles...oh wow!

I know that I usually post my Blubber Butt posts on Mondays but with Monday being Valentines Day it just didn't work out and then yesterday I blogged about Valentines Day and the awesome giveaway that I am having (scroll to the bottom of the linked post to find the rules and to comment) that I just didn't have to time to blog about our weight loss too.

So sue me.

I also wanted to take a little bit of time and actually blog about our weight loss journey. It seems like every week something else is going on and the whole weight loss thing kinda gets thrown in the middle somewhere. It totally does not deserve that. It has been kind to me. It deserves recognition. So let me recognize.

This whole journey has been a whirlwind.
I sound like I am at the end of the trip when really I am not even halfway. But I just feel...dare I say it? different.
I posted before of how I no longer feel controlled by food. I have prayed Romans 14:20 so many times over the last 7 weeks that I am sure my husband repeats it in his sleep. If my dog could talk it would probably be the first thing she'd say since she is with me so many times when I want to reach for the dang Cheez-it box and stopped myself by chanting it.
It really was a life changer for me.
Over the last several weeks I have consistently lost weight. It may have only been a pound or two but it was still something.
The hardest times come when I am alone or at the store and I know dinner is still a couple of hours away. I want so bad to reach for that bag of Cheese Puffs (I'm noticing a trend here with cheese) or that bag of honey roasted almonds (which was my temptation today). But somehow, and it is only by the strength of God that it's possible, I resist.
It seems like everywhere I look God is putting things in front of me to keep me true to my journey. I think the biggest difference between this weight loss goal and previous ones has been 1.accountability with L, and 2. a spiritual change.
I never thought I needed to trust God with my body.
I'm a big girl, I can turn down those Doritos on my own!
Well, obviously not doofus or I wouldn't have checked in at 146 lbs. My largest weight ever.
I had to give it to God.

It hasn't been easy though. Some days all I want is to go somewhere buy some chips and some Reese cups and sit on the couch and veg. Last week was one of those weeks where I really thought I was just going to throw in the towel. It all started last Monday when we found out we were getting a pretty significant pay cut. Then L found out that her wedding venue had left town and took her paid in full check with it. The rest of the week just had a sort of stink to it. Everyday I woke up feeling fatter and fatter and wanting more and more fatness to put in my stomach.
I finally had to drop to my knees and give it to God.
I felt even worse the next day.
It was almost like God was testing me...saying "how much do you really want this. If you want it bad enough you will deal with the junk that goes with it. There will be good days and there will be crappy days. I am with you through them all."
I think it was probably at weigh in on Monday when I weighed it a whopping 135.4 pounds! that I finally started feeling okay with things again. I started logging my food again and I started forcing myself to exercise.
I don't do the treadmill everyday, but I do think about it everyday, which is way more that I used to do.

So yeah, I have lost 11 lbs. Amazing. I can't believe that I am so close to being in the 120's again.
L weighed in at 129 so she was pretty ecstatic! And even though I was sooo happy for her. That was great motivation too, I WANT to be in the 120's again! And soon!

I have had some triumphs along the way too though.
A renewed sense of control in my life when it come to food.
A closer dependence on God.
And I'm back in my size 6 jeans! I was a size 10 when we started this whole thing in January.
On Saturday, I was needing to run errands and my regular jeans were dirty. The size 10 ones. When I cleaned out my closet back in December I got rid of most of the things that were too small except for a select group of size 6 things. A couple pair of jeans were included in this. I wasn't expecting much but I took a leap of faith, went and got a pair, and lo and behold...they fit! And they were even loose!
I'm so stinking proud of myself!

My plan has been pretty simple:
Cheerios and tea for breakfast: 100 calories
Salad with fat free Balsamic dressing and some sort of tuna or chicken salad: 200 calories
Jif-on-the-Go peanut butter cup for a snack: 250 calories
and that leaves me with about 650 calories for dinner.
I eat lighter during the day because I don't want to starve Landen to death and I like having the freedom if we want to go out or something.

As far as exercise goes I try to exercise 3-5 times a week either doing a video or doing stuff on the treadmill.

I still have a long way to go before I reach my goal weight. But now, more than even before, I feel like I can reach my goal weight. I am not going to destroy the work of the Lord for the sake of food. (that's the verse I was talking about earlier)

So now, lets see the pictures.

I actually feel pretty skinny in this picture.

and now for L who is looking amazing!

thank you so much for all of the encouragement that you guys have been!
I love checking my blog each day and seeing y'alls smiling faces!

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