My Summer Manifesto

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a to-do list driven person. Sticky notes are my best friend and I love the feeling of drawing a big dark line through an accomplished task on a list. 

This summer I decided to create a to-do list, a manifesto of sorts, of things I want to do before going back to school. I sat down with my daily cup of Mother's Milk tea (because that's the tea I drink at this stage of life) and grabbed a pen and paper and began searching my heart for the things that matter to me. Things that will matter in August when I look back over these few precious months. I realize that these months are going to be so much fun, planning camping trips, a vacation to the beach, and watching our little Adeline change and grow everyday. 

I wanted to create a list that wouldn't just be the typical "lay outside and get a tan", "read a book", "lose weight" type goals, but specific ones that I know will make a difference. 

My Summer Manifesto

1. Finish decorating Adeline's nursery.

2. Get caught up on Project Life.

3. Stay up to date on Adeline's scrapbook.

4. Keep a house plant alive.

5. Eat watermelon and have a spitting contest.

6. Sleep outdoors.

7. Write Adeline's name in the sand.

8. Spend time with God in His word daily.

9. Visit Grandma and Kevin's grave.

10. Train for a 5k.

11. Make a mini album with my niece.

12. Go fishing with  my nephew.

13. Swim in a lake.

14. Buy cute clothes for myself.

15. Sing...often.

16. Read the rest of the Hunger Games series.

17. Take pretty pictures.

18. Begin Project 29.

19. Love on my husband.

20. Document the small things.

21. Finish my Week in the Life album.

22. Sit outside in my p.j's and listen to the birds.

23. Give my dog a belly rub.

24. Spend less time thinking and more time doing.

25. Build one relationship outside my comfort level.

26. Offer a second chance. 

I am sure that I will not complete all of these, and I am sure I will add more as the summer progresses. Some I have already began to tackle; and others I cringe at the though of beginning (5k training, eek).  

I hope to find purpose in these things. I hope that when I go back to work in August, I can look back at a summer that was productive and fulfilling and most of all, remembered.

What is your manifesto? Do you have summer goals? I'd love to hear about them. 

Praying the wrong prayer.

It is times like tonight,

as I sit here on the couch,

Abbey, our trustful canine on my left,

and my sweet, sleeping baby girl on my right,

God speaks to me the most.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the big stuff, that if we aren't careful we let the small things slip right by us. 

When in all actuality, it was the small things that mattered all along.

Our church was in VBS this week. To me, it seemed like it all came together too fast, and when I caught a cold the day before it started my enthusiasm and motivation did more than falter; it came to a crashing halt.  I am not ashamed to admit that when the first night rolled around, I was disappointed by the numbers. With only 58 in attendance (counting both leaders and learners) I slapped a smile on my face and encouraged the kids to bring just one friend in order to double the amount the next night.

Monday rolled around and we were at 64. While I was happy we had added more, I was still disappointed.

"God, I would pray, Where is everyone? We passed out flyers, we prayed, why aren't they showing up?"

The next day our numbers dropped back down to 64.

That night at the end of the Worship Rally, as I was doing my Leader duties and rallying the kids onward, I bravely issued a challenge to pray specifically for a total of 75 the next night. I told the kids that I believe in a God that can do all things and that if we pray asking we shall receive.  They all agreed to join me in this prayer for 75 people to be in attendance the following night.

That night in my personal prayer time I cried out to God, eloquent words flowing from my lips, praising and believing that in His Holy Name there would be 75 in attendance.

The next night we were back up to 69.

69.

But God, where was my 75? I prayed for it.  Did I not pray hard enough? Specifically enough? I told these kids that you could do it! Now what do I say?

I told the kids that God has all things in control, He knows what He is doing, and I expressed excitement that we had added 8 people from the night before. At the end of the night when Pastor Chuck asked how many we were going to pray for to be there tonight I bravely replied "80!" 

So again, I prayed earnestly and fervently. I was sure that God would come through and show these kids that He does answer prayers.

At 6:25, 5 minutes before VBS began for the night, I walked into the sanctuary completely broken hearted. I could count the number of kids waiting in line outside on 2 hands. I knew the number of leaders in attendance and I knew that unless God performed a miracle in the next 5 minutes it was NOT going to add up to 80.

I text Landen telling him how bummed out I was and how I couldn't figure out why God couldn't have just sent a few more kids. Why couldn't He prove to them that He exists by answering one little prayer.

What had I done wrong?

By the end of the night, with sweat dripping off my brow from dancing to "Yes to VBS" for the last time this year, I asked the group to bow their heads in prayer. Suddenly, Pastor Chuck spoke up and said that He had an announcement to make. He grabbed a little boy named Devon and brought him up to the front and announced that tonight he had accepted Christ as his Savior. 

We were so excited!

Praise God for this little boy and the fact that He was insured an eternity with Christ!

I led the group in prayer, I praised God for this new soul added to His kingdom, and praised Him for a great week.

I helped clean up the church and had fun with friends.

Then I got in my car, headed home, and was filled with disappointment at the fact that God simply had NOT answered my prayer. He had NOT proven Himself to these kids. And I was angry. 

I spent 10 of the 15 minutes of the car ride home questioning, I called my dad and when He asked my if we had a lot at VBS I disappointedly told him no. When he asked if I thought it went well, I replied "Yeah, but I wish we'd had more there."

It wasn't until I was pulling in to my driveway that God decided to snap me out of my pity-party and hit me with the cold truth.

"I don't care about the same number that you do."

I realized; I had been so caught up in the number of people that was sitting in the pews each night, that I had totally forgotten about the lost people sitting in the pews each night.

It was in this moment that I realized; God didn't answer my prayer because I wasn't praying the right prayer. Instead of praying specifically for 75 people to show up, I should have been praying for people to give up their lives to Christ. That's the whole reason we do outreach programs like this. To reach the lost and teach children about God.

There are so many times in our lives that we miss the whole point.  We pray to God, specifically and passionately, to hear or prayers, to prove He exists, and all the while, God is saying I don't have to PROVE I exist. I exist for the ones who care enough to seek me out. I am right here. Just look. We pray prayers that don't even matter at the end of the day. I am struck by the realization that even if 275 people would have shown up, it wouldn't have mattered if that little boy hadn't made a decision tonight and had died without knowing Christ. It would have only been a number on a piece of paper, that no one remembered. 

I am realizing that we are all praying for the wrong number. Churches all around this nation are praying for more people, more money, more things. We should be praying for more souls to come to Christ. Isn't that what the whole point to the story is anyway; leading people to Christ. 

Sometimes God has to disappoint us, before He can enlighten us. 

I am so thankful we didn't have 80 people there tonight.

Because God knows,

if we had,

I would have cared more about that number than 

the most important number. The number ONE.

Adeline: 3 months

Adeline,

How can it be that you are already 3 months old? Time sure is flying by and at this stage in your life you are changing more and more everyday!

So much has happened in the last month. School finished for the year so Mommy is now doing her favorite job in the whole wide world: stay-at-home mommy with you for the summer. I love waking up in the morning and having some close one-on-one time with you before Daddy and Abbey wake up and get the day started. I love watching you sleep and all of the cute little faces that you make. Morning time snuggles are my favorite.

We took you to the Dr. for your two month checkup and also for your shots. Mommy cried when you cried and it was not a fun day for anyone. Daddy went too and he held you afterwards and you snuggled up close to him and held his tie really tight.  The Dr said you were a healthy baby though! You weighed 11 pounds, and were 24-1/2 inches long! My, you are growing into such a long, skinny, little girl. You are in the 29th percentile for weight, which means you still need to gain a little bit of weight, but you are in the 75th percentile for length. You are long!

You are now wearing size 2 diapers. It seems like just yesterday we were folding down the newborns so they would fit around your waist and now you are wearing 2's!!!

You also started laughing and cooing a lot this month. We are able to have conversations with you and it is so much fun to see how you respond to our facial expressions and our voices.  I love your laugh. It makes me feel so warm inside. 

You love laying on your play mat and you just started actually playing with the toys that hangs from it.  You will sit and punch the little ball back and forth for 30 minutes or more and laugh the whole time.  

I think you are beginning to teeth too. You have started drooling like crazy and you have began sucking and chewing on everything that gets close to your mouth. You also have started sucking on your thumb which is super cute, but a bad habit to develop so we are trying to stop you from doing it by putting your paci in your mouth. You would much rather have your thumb!

You are drinking around 5 ounces every feeding now and we are still giving you both breastmilk and formula.  I usually nurse you during the day and then we give you bottles once Daddy gets home so he can have some time with you.

You are quickly growing out of your 0-3 month clothing and are starting to fit into your 3-6 month clothes. This makes Mommy both happy and sad. Happy that you are growing to be such a big girl, but sad that time is going by fast. 

You also love our bedtime routine. Each night we wrap you up in your pink SwaddleMe and we read to you from the Bible and pray with you.  You always settle right down during the prayer and we are getting between 8-9 hours of sleep now! Usually after your morning feeding you go back to sleep for another hour or so which gives mommy a chance to either catnap or take a shower and prepare for our day (or, write your 3-month old letter, hehe).

We had your baby dedication this month and made a commitment to raise you up to love God and follow Him in all you do. It is the greatest responsibility we could have, and one that we take very seriously.
You went to your first Red's game! You had a blast and only got fussy one time when the fireworks went off and Mommy forgot to cover your ears. You were given a "My First Red's Game" certificate with the date of the game and who was playing written on it.  I can't wait to add it to your scrapbook!

You also celebrated Fathers Day with your Daddy. We bought him a Joey Votto jersey and he loved it! I can already tell that he is itching to wear it. You have the best Daddy ever!
You are such a happy baby and as fast as you are growing I just know that before we realize it you are going to be crawling, then walking, and then on to other things I can't quite wrap my mind around yet.
Just know one thing baby girl, your Daddy and I love you so much. You have made our lives complete and filled a hole we didn't even know we had. We love you.  

My favorite 5th grade moments...

Today was the last day of school. My last day as a 5th grade teacher. Next year I will be teaching sweet little 2nd graders and I am so excited about it. But before a new beginning can begin, something else must come to an end. 

As I sat at my desk, amazed by how silent my room could be, looking at where my classroom jobs used to be posted, at the bare art wall that I admired and where I placed all my students artwork and sweet notes, I was reminded of all the memories that were made in that room. I thought I would take the time to jot down some of my favorites before they become lost in my brain.

So here ya go: my top favorite 5th grade moments.

*A particular student got in trouble on the playground. When I questioned him on what he thought his consequence should be he replied, in a very Eeyore-like voice, "I guess I'll go to hell" to which I replied "Well, not today."

*One of my students could tell how badly I wanted an iPad to use in my class. I had explained to them that Mr. O'Banion liked to save money and he didn't understand how it would really come in handy. This student came to me at the end of the day with a handwritten letter to Landen detailing very specifically just why I needed an iPad and how I could use it. It must have touched Landen because I returned to school with an iPad the following Monday. Lesson learned: use your kids! 

*My homeroom chose Adele's Set Fire to the Rain as their theme song. One Friday we were listening to it before announcements and I looked over to see P standing on the stool jamming. Before I could tell him to get down he leaps off the stool, landing in a perfect guitar pose. Needless to say I am so glad he didn't die; or that Mrs. F didn't walk in. Not sure how I could have connected that moment to my content standards.

*My entire "reproduction" unit. Enough said.

*This is one of those moments that is so horrible you can only laugh about it. I had a particularly, ummm, let's just say, challenging, class at the end of the day this year. It was the first time I had attempted a science lab activity with them and team work was definitely not their strongest point.  The objective of the activity was to balance text books on certain objects. At this particular moment in time chaos had erupted in my classroom. Every group was arguing with each other and I was stuck trying to scream over 30 fifth graders. All of a sudden, one of my groups FREAKED OUT on each other. Imagine this:

one student knocks a science book out of another students hands.

this book hits a student on the head

student grabs head and starts running around the table screaming.

Another student (who came with a whole backpack full of problems) starts chasing student around the table screaming "Die! Die! Die!" and fake stabbing him to death".

(Yes people, I was teaching 5th graders).

At the EXACT moment that all you-know-what had broken out in my room, my principal walks into my room to do a walk-thru.

Like I said...you can only laugh about it.

*When my homeroom decided that "just in case" I go into labor they needed an emergency backup plan:

*Singing songs at the top of our lungs coming back from our field trip. Sorry Mr. Bus Driver. My bad. I didn't know that one amazing rendition on my part of Little Bunny FooFoo would lead to an entire Ancient and Forgotten Children's Song concert by an entire busload of sugar-crazed 11 year olds. I 'pologize. 

*During our Owl Pellet dissection activity, one of my students came to me completely pale faced, grasping his stomach informing me that he was going to puke. 

*And lastly,

When I was looking at some pictures on my phone today and realized that one of my students had hi-jacked my phone and left me a hilarious video message alerting me to the fact that she had hacked my phone, she loved me and my class, and then pretend kissed me on both cheeks.

Teaching 5th grade definitely had its highs and low's, but one things is for sure. At 1:30 this afternoon, a little piece of my heart walked out that door with each of those precious kids.